Thursday, February 12, 2015

Goodby sweet girl 

No filters warning. Baby Girl is gone. And to be honest, I have cried over this more than I cried when my Dad died. Its not to say I loved my dad less than I love a cat. But I had to make this choice. I had to choose the day she was to die. I chose to take a health, if old and crazy cat, to the vet and die. I did that to her. This morning she was breathing and tonight she is in the dirt. My daughter begged me not to, and sobbed herself to sleep tonight. I did that. I chose that.Maybe this IS me grieving my dad. Juliet was a newborn and we all know newborns don't let you grieve. Who knows. All I know is everyone processes grief differently. And I think I was wrong. I should have found the money for a run for her litter boxes. I should have been more patient and less selfish. She was an amazing kitty, who slept with my children and let them snuggle her when they were awake. Juliet is already asking for her next kitty, while still sobbing over the one in the ground and asking why we couldn't wait until she died on her own. Spencer has gone looking for his bed buddy - she laid with him every night since he was born. Ninja (the other cat) is laying in front of the empty cat carrier. I will never ever forget her limpness as she was put in the box Juliet made her. Or how wrong she looked in it.

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