Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Two of me 

I feel like I am two different people right now. I am still the Jennie that people around me know and care for. I'm still a stubborn hard headed driven individual. I'm still a team leader and willing to go that extra mile. But I feel like there is a blackness inside me that threatens to devour me. I feel like nothing matters. I feel like nothing. I feel like just giving up.
Glenn says that this is not me. That this is not the girl he fought with for 5 years. John says he thinks I will be ok. Lyndall talks about the fact I can always turn bad to good. My friends all say that I am strong and that I will pull through this. But I feel like my strength is gone. That steel core I once had to draw on is no longer within me. There is nothing there.

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