Friday, July 21, 2006
Tears
They threaten me every day. Standing close to the surface like a dam with huge cracks in it. I can laugh and smile and trade wippish remarks and it will be ok, but the second I am alone I feel it just below the surface and it takes all my self control to not break. Each time I walk past a pregnant lady or a baby I feel a terrible ache and the tears reach the surface for just a moment, until I can fight them back down. I should never have terminated. It wasn't worth this pain. And now I know that his promises were empty and he's betrayed the trust I put in him. I want things to be ok, I want him to be here tonight, but he says he's not ready to see me. I guess he doesn't realise how much I need his support.
God I need a break, please lift this from my shoulder for just a little bit. Let me find my feet again and not knock me down so much. I hurt all over and I can't dig myself out.
I don't want anyone around me, and yet I can't bear to be alone. I wish he understood.
God I need a break, please lift this from my shoulder for just a little bit. Let me find my feet again and not knock me down so much. I hurt all over and I can't dig myself out.
I don't want anyone around me, and yet I can't bear to be alone. I wish he understood.
1 Comments:
I am a stranger reading your blog for the first time. I can only imagine how you feel. I am so sorry for it all. You will be ok.
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