Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Diseases and Reality
So obviously if you are reading this blog you know that I was diagnosed with MS. For those of you who don't understand MS, it's a REALLY scary disease. I never know where a lesion will form nor what (if anything) it will cause. I could loose my ability to walk or to use my hands, or to see. I am eligable for the drug trial, so I don't have to worry about the cost of medicine for a while. Having to actually inject myself is going to be a huge reality check, It's one thing to be told you have something, but to actually actively doing medical stuff about it makes it more real.
Anyway, reality hit yesterday when I went upstairs to visit a friend/coworker of mine who is sick. When she was 2 it was discovered that her arteries were weak and they have ALL been replaced with plastic grafts (she's got 16 of them). In fact, if you are studying nursing, she is probabley your text book case seeing as she has the most of anyone alive. Anyway, recently she had an overy removed for a cyst and it seems somehow she's gotton an infection. Usuually that's not a big deal, however, if the infection is on the graft, which is where the doctors think it is, they can't get rid of it with regular antibiotics. But they are going to try high powered stuff, directly injected through a shunt into her heart for 6 weeks. And then they pray her fever doesn't come back. If it does, the only option is surgery, and she may not survive that.
I was talking to her yesterday and when I said how calmly she was taking it all she said "You know how it is with what you have, you know you can't change it so you do everything you can do."
And it hit me. She could DIE from what she has, and she is trying to compare it to what I have. I feel so inadequate. There is no comparison, I won't die from MS. I won't suddenly have 6 weeks to live because of an infection. She's 22 years old and one of the strongest people I have ever met.
Anyway, reality hit yesterday when I went upstairs to visit a friend/coworker of mine who is sick. When she was 2 it was discovered that her arteries were weak and they have ALL been replaced with plastic grafts (she's got 16 of them). In fact, if you are studying nursing, she is probabley your text book case seeing as she has the most of anyone alive. Anyway, recently she had an overy removed for a cyst and it seems somehow she's gotton an infection. Usuually that's not a big deal, however, if the infection is on the graft, which is where the doctors think it is, they can't get rid of it with regular antibiotics. But they are going to try high powered stuff, directly injected through a shunt into her heart for 6 weeks. And then they pray her fever doesn't come back. If it does, the only option is surgery, and she may not survive that.
I was talking to her yesterday and when I said how calmly she was taking it all she said "You know how it is with what you have, you know you can't change it so you do everything you can do."
And it hit me. She could DIE from what she has, and she is trying to compare it to what I have. I feel so inadequate. There is no comparison, I won't die from MS. I won't suddenly have 6 weeks to live because of an infection. She's 22 years old and one of the strongest people I have ever met.
1 Comments:
internet rules hahahahhahahhahahahahhaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am ging to bed
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10:53 PM
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