Monday, January 31, 2005
How do you know when it is time to move on? When is it ever time to let go of something you truely want in life? This is hard for me to write because I don't want the world to know my troubles, but I feel so lost that I just need to write something. This time last year I was high on the anticipation of the rest of my life. Marriage, home, children. And now, I feel betrayed by the one I love. It's not that he has done anything wrong, far from it, he has done nothing but be honest. But this honesty is killing me from the inside out.
He still loves me, but he is unsure if I am "the one". So do I keep waiting, hoping desiring something that isn't going to happen? I want him, I want this, I am so tired of waiting, and my heart just HURTS.
Friday, January 28, 2005
So I am taking a class on Early and Medieval Christian History this semester- basically to learn more about the medieval period, but also to learn more about Christianity. I'm Jewish and as my best friend is Christain and my boyfriend is Catholic I'd like to know more about how they think. I was not brought up in a strictly religous household, so I don't really know alot about this stuff.
So anyway, I am reading one of my textbooks for this class, it's the epistles written by people after the death of Jesus, and I started thinking about Judiaism vs Christianity.
Now there is no debate as to the fact that Jesus and his disciples were all Jewish right? Now I always knew this (at least the part about Jesus being Jewish) and I remember once that I said to Lyndall during an argument that if Jesus hadn't existed they'd all be Jewish. Now I started thinking about this statement, and I realise I was wrong. Very Wrong. Yes, Jesus was Jewish, as was his followers, and the first Christians were Jewish. But the majority of the Christians were "pagans". Romans, Greeks, worshipers of multiple gods. So if the main converts were Pagans, then almost everyone who is Christain today would actually be a pagan. Judisim is very... selective (at least as far as I know.) and I don't think we would have ever become the major religion in the world.
So that's my ramblings for the day.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
You would think that a car with keyless entry would be impossibly to lock yourself out of right? WRONG. It snowed a good foot last night, so this morning I got up early, got showered and dressed and went downstairs to start my car. Now I had breakfast to eat and lunch to make and I didn't want anyone taking off with my car (I am still paying for it!) so I removed my keyless entry with the intent of locking my car and then unlocking it when it was time to leave.
I put my keys in the ignition, start her up, press the lock button on my door and close it. I then turn around to turn down my radio and hit my unlock on my keyless entry. Nothing. I try to open the trunk. Nothing. My car is running and I am locked out of this.
I am so not impressed.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Well I FINALLY went out snowmobiling with Jon last weekend. With everything that didn't go right I am surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did. Saturday we headed to the Aidirondaks where he went to college and knows the trails really well and rode up there. However the snow coverage was really light, and the area was only going to see 2 inches (while NYC got 22- like that makes any sense!) and it was not the best riding. It also didn't help that the helmet I was wearing was not sealed correctly and the face shield froze over, so I literally couldn't see anything. I had a spot (abouth the size of the thumbprint) where I was breathing that was clear enough to see Jon's jacket and know I was still behind him, but I REALLY swore I was going to fall off. Plus it was COLD. -7 air tempreture, and about -63 or so while riding. That evening we headed back to the college, where we discovered our area was getting some great snow, and decided to head home for the night and try and find some trails closer to home. We ended up driving through the storm (the same one that dumped several feet of snow in MA) and nearly wiping out more than once.
We got home and to bed at around 2am, and being the weirdo's we are, were up again at 8am the next morning. We headed to a site at Lake George (that we found online) and got thourally lost trying to find it (note to self: write down the directions!), and ended up following a few other trailers we saw to a site at a park. The snow cover was great-11 inches- of fluffy snow, I had a MUCH better helmet (yay no more frozen view!), and it was about 10-15 degree's warmer than the day before, so it looked like it would shape up to be a great day. However it was not to be. There were very few trails and the ones that were there were very rough. We don't have studs on our machine so some of the hills we couldn't go up. Because the snow was so deep and fresh, it was harder to turn the way we wanted, and we got stuck more than once. And the parking situation for the truck was nasty- we had to park on the side of the park entrance and there was no place to turn around. If we did a U turn we knew we would get stuck, so we tried to go up the hill a ways to one of the "park and photo" ledges to turn. The problem is that NOTHING was plowed making it hard to control the truck and we nearly went off the edge of the cliff. We finally got turned and down the hill only to discover someone else had tried a U turn and gotton stuck. However there were some great views up there, and it was an intresting day.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Well it's a beginning of a new year. I can't believe that at this time last year I was just unpacking boxes and beginningmy life with Jon. So as the new year dawns I have to look back at the joy and the pain, the ups and downs, and hope that I can make some better decisions this year. Maybe find some time to give back to others who gave so freely to me when I needed it.
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