Wednesday, September 15, 2004
I have had bad dreams before. Dreams that make you wake up in fear and not want to go back to sleep. I had a dream a little while ago of my boyfriend dying- he was out of town and it was so real that I called and woke him to make sure he was ok. But last night I had a BAD dream. This one tops anything I have ever had before.
I was interviewing a person who had just written a book, she was a prostitute and was talking about the street life. She decided to show me what she did to get herself excited. The procceded to use a chisel and hammer to chip away large chunks of her skull like a puzzel. She then took the pieces, and with some glue, glued them back on. A follow up to this, was lighting the glue on fire.
I am feeling VERY disturbed today.
I see you online Lyndall- why aren't you talking to me?!??!?!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Lord this job is SOOOO boring! The right thing for me to do is stay here, be bored and make my $14 an hour. But each day I leave with a headache from playing too many computer games and a sence of worthlessness. I've been here nearly 4 weeks now and I really have absolutly NOTHING to do. It's driving me batty!
Monday, September 13, 2004
Hey Smelly... seems you were bugging my Mum for me to write a new blog. Well here it is :D
Life is... well life. You take each day as it comes. With my Grandfathers death I have found life to be more simple, with that I mean easier to enjoy. The smaller things satisfy me, wheras before well, they didn't. Seeing Jon when I come home from work, going to class, knowing that I can. Talking to a friend, or helping someone. Feeling Jons arms around me at night. Smelly I could tell you so many stories, but I don't know who would read this blog so I won't here.
This last weekend we went camping. Such a small things. Him buying me an icecream when we got to the top of the trail, and sharing it with him on the way back down. Him reaching to help me if I stumble. His arms around me at night snuggling against me because it was cold. The way he reacts to me when I smile. Even the reactions of those around me. My mother commenting on the blueness of his eyes. See some other women give him an admiring stare. I feel so lucky to have him by my side.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Today is just another day. One more day in the progression of life going who knows where. I have finally started back at school, and while I am thankful for the classes i am taking, I am restless with the want to take more. I want to go full time, but I know at this point I can't. I have to be patient and know that it will work out in the end.
But today does not seem to be a day for worry about cash, or stress, In fact I am quite at ease today, so rare in these last few weeks. Maybe it was waking in Jons arms to see him smiling at me with that smile he has, letting me know how much he loves me. Maybe it was walking out of the bedroom to see my two cats curled together outside the door, getting as close to sleeping with me as they can. Maybe it's the promise that Jon and I will have a real vactaion this weekend for the first time in a while.
All I know is that I am in love, and I am glad to be alive today.
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