Monday, June 28, 2004
So I have this great new job in a hospital. I am a temp filling in for an administrative assitant in Neonatology (newborns) while she goes out on surgery. Howevere, her surgery has been put off, and seeing as they don't want to loose a trainied body, they have shuffled me around the hospital to the Radiology department. I'm a smart woman, I can work out a LOT of things, but I cannot work out why in gods name the put me here. The place has so much work to do, but they won't allow anyone outside of a select few to do it. Like hanging and pulling the boards (to look at xrays and mammorgrams) because they are afraid of someone screwing up.
I am meant to be the administrative assistant for this particular doctor, but she has nothing she needs me to do. I feel like a wasted body taking up space. About 50% of my day is sitting around doing nothing- because I don't know what to do, and no-one feels the need to tell me. Hopefully the other lady goes out for surgery next week so I won't be stuck in this department for much longer.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Sometimes the things we do hurts our friends. The people that are there for you when times are good, and in bad. I have someone I call friend. He knows who he is. And he was hurt by something I said in this very Blog. And for that I am sorry.
But sometimes I think that this world is too kind to people. I think we are all so busy be nice to everyone that we don't say what is on our minds. How often can we say what we truly mean to someone? I think that friendship should be about being brutally honest, even if that hurts sometimes. Maybe I'm too harsh, but I want to able to say what I truley mean, and not hide behind niceties... no one becomes better that way.
So- friend- I hope you have learned from what I said. You're a better person that that. But remember that what you don't think about, or what you brush off as "that's just how I am" causes those around you pain, espeically those that care.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am not a girly girl. Sure I don't mind dressing up once in a while, but I am the last person you will find in short skirts and strappy shoes. I have never been the raving beauty (in my life that'll be Lyndall- she was always so much better looking- and still is- and don't let her try and tell you otherwise) of any crowd, and even if I am mildly pretty, it is offset by my prefrence for a comfortable pair of jeans and sneakers over anything feminin.
But with the onset of hot weather, and the lack of owning a pair of shorts, I have suddenly found myself in pocession of a handful of pretty very feminin skirts curtisey of Jon. I have even gone shopping for a nice work-friendly pair of strappy shoes to wear with them.
What in gods name is that man feeding me?!?!?! lol Actually, I have never ever felt more attractive in my life. Even with the waist line I am stuggling to control, the big bootie, the thighs I wish were 3 times smaller, I feel like I am the sexiest woman on the planet. And it's all because of the way that he looks at me. Weather it's jeans or a flowered skirt he loves the skin I'm in.... and that makes me so much happier with myself.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Holy Hannah is it HOT. I grew up in a country that is "known" as a hot place, and I have lived the last few years in California, but it was nothing like this. I completly forgot how much I HATE humidity. Today it is a balmy 91 F (At this writing it is 2.30pm) however the humidtity is like 64%, which means it feels like it is 140. I feel sorry for my poor cats... in their personal little "fur coats". Maybe I should shave them....... (j/k)
Thursday, June 03, 2004
You know, money is the root of all evil. In so many ways, money can be the downfall of a great life. Having it, not having it, it makes ALL the difference. I was once on top of the world, I was young, I was making a lot, I was stupid. And today, over 3 years later, I am still paying for it.
I can't help but wonder how I can get out of this bitter cycle. I live check to check. I have nothing set aside for the just in case. I am unable to better myself because I can't afford to go to school. I just declared bankrupcy, yet it feels like I still owe the whole world money. There are no jobs in this area that are over $9 an hour. How can ANYONE survive on that amount? I certainly can't.
I wish to god that if there is someone up there, that they see I have learned from my mistakes and give me a hand in digging myself out of this hole I burried myself in so long ago. It's like everytime I reach the top something drags me back down.....
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