Friday, December 05, 2003

Choices 

Have you ever had someone in your life that you wish you could protect from all pain?
I am not the best person to talk about bad choices. I mean look at the relationship I was in for the last 6 years. Abusive, mentally, mean, nasty, and yet I stayed living with him for many years. And yet, I wish I could make choices for others to prevent them getting hurt. I just read the blog of my best friend Lyndall, where she talks about staying with her boyfriend after he cheated on her- and lied about it. As I sit and read the blog, my eyes fill with tears for the pain this man is putting her through.
Lyndall- I know you are reading this. I love you smelly- but as much as you love him- he's not worth it. It took me so many years to figure that out about Glenn, and I regret taking so long so much. It has been four and a half long years since I left Australia to move in with him, and it took me 4 long years to walk away from the misery he caused me.
Sometimes, it takes more courage to walk away than it does to stay. I thought I would never love again, and that I would never be able to survive if I walked away. I gave excuses... the cats, finances, anything I could think of. And now I look back and realise how stupid and nieve I was. He was never going to change. And neither will Ben.
You know I am not a big believer in God. But you know I love you. Lyndall, you need to find the strength to walk away. He will never change. This is not the first time he has hurt you, and it probabley won't be the last. I am here for you chicky, whatever you decide, you know that. But know this.... he has hurt you, and thus will forever have my distrust. You may forgive him, but I will not.

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